30072008

have u ever wondered wad the future holds? wad the future brings? wad will happen to u wen u are like 20, 30, 40 etc ? i onli noe that life enjoys making fun of ppl .
hmmm..... worry bout now first lol had a great time at dance today yeah lol
i jus feel my blog is getting more and more lonely that i jus dun wan to waste time le lol
yeah now doin my econs project lol pathertic haha zzzz. i dun noe lah i jus feel so stressed up to the brim. That i realli feel like jus killing any one that steps in my way. haiz emo and unemo.
i veri nice to bully is it dun say anything onli ppl will jus cont. to say n say . nth to say back so jus keep quiet lor i oso got no back mountain to help mi. hmmm.... i can onli store and store and burst at the end jus dun noe wen the end will come wait lor hmmm.... wad can i do, wad can i say am i seriously so irritatin?? so unlovable?? so wad lol hmmm i wonder lol i jus wan to be perfect i am freakin tryin but i cant seem to do it. my brain works so slow worst than a snail lol i am gettin worst day by day i can sense the emotion in mi . i m afriad i will nt be able to control it haha ok i m lam lol zzzzzz
but i realli wan to give up on myself already i feel veri tired to study , to care , to bother bout anything . i realli veri scare scare i worry alot but i cant help it i wan to be A POSITIVE person i ;m realli tryin veri hard but everytime i see somethings that will demoralized mi i totally become negative haiz ...... so hard so hard everytime wen i m tryin to stand up someone or something will push mi and make mi fall. i jus hope the people in my life will stay and never leave mi i dun wan to be left standing alone. some regrets can be made to unregrets as in it can be fix

ok done emoin lol haha tmr is a new day look ahead to new things and happening ...

hmmmm.... haiz sudden moodyness omg tat is bad lol argg....

tired lol and hot haha tonight goin to burn mid nite oil zzz mus finish my project and my presentation and i still got time to blog lol power hahahazzzz

CHENG YU IS EVIL MAN and gordon is his accomplise lol zzz haha i m goin to get scolded lol :D hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

BORING
\my weekends jus sux

i feel so useless and helpless i cant seek help from no one
i feel so dejected and down i cant seek comfort
i feel so lousy and super down i cant seek happiness
i wan be to wad i used to be happi and bubbly
i jus wan to be the HAPPY GO LUCKY JEAN
i'm jus too tired to care i dun wan to care i jus LET NATURE LEAD MI ANYTHING LEAD MI JUS DUN LEAD MI TO DIE CAN LE

STRESS STRESS STRESS crys

u make my blood boil pls go away before i burn u AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
i dun noe wad to do i tired tired tired to care le lah arggggggggggangry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry I JUS FEEL SO PISSED PISSED PISSED DAM IT

25 07 2008



TEL MI WD IS THE MORE DEPRSSING, WEN U HAVE A CONCENT NO ONE (nt even ur family and ur frens ) ATTEND NVM. NT EVEN A 'GOODLUCK' 'ALL THE BEST ' 'JYJY' message OSO DUN HAV. after the whole dance i felt super demorialized, everyone wen off stage to meet their fren MI i was on stage cryin cuz i realli felt so lonely zzzzzzzz so demoralized so haiz ........

NVM life's TPDE CONCERT WAS fun lol,



dis is onli part of tpde lol but is my item the dancers hahahaha.








i m never goin to take pictures, again i look so ugly arggg.

i screwed my POM presentation today .i was speakin half way and i wen out of voice so 'ma lu' lol. zzzzz but nvm lah haha

tmr got comm skills test better go study :)
to "gor gor"
haha happi aniversary haha :):X

dis is my emo blog hahah zzzzz sian ..... tonight got performance zzzzzzzz tired tired tmr still got test even more tired zzzz short and sweet lol

dance 2 days in a row lol make it 4
haha eatin bread now lol and it is 1230 omg tmr got presentation at 9am lol die die .....

23 07 2008 wed

haiz exams is in one month time zzzzzzzz sian lor i will try to study if i cannot pass or i realli fail even after i take my sub paper oso nt my fault wa cuz i tried already it is jus nt my subjects lah lol zzzz sian lor zzzzzzzzzz exma exam i totally dun understand any thing in my notes crys

sian sian did i do something wrong again omg lolzzzzzzzzzzzz haiz so suffering to be sick dam it lol y my life like tat one veri sian leh

212072008

omg missed gordon's match today lol it's ok

omg i am freakin SICK sick sick flu i wan slp slp slp cuz of the stupid weather omg today;s BA test realli sux sux i m so tired my eyes were closing lol and i didnt balance so nvm lol haha

wads wif the weather sia keep black black one rain rain rain dun rain lah rain oso nt cold one after tat hot like oven so irritating zzzzzzzzzzz later goin bugis wif my family to buy my dance clothes
haha my dad is goin to kill mi i wan to shop shop shop he dun wan let mi shop jus because he thinks ,my cupboard got so mani clothes but actual fact none.lol arhhhhhh...... i mus save $$ haha i wan buy lots lots of things lol

18 08 2008 sunday

473 post lol aot sia lol z zz zprojects omg i wan die le lol zzzzzzzzz
gordon breathe in breathe out lol dun irritated lol bored bored no maple

it is jus mi alone at home on a cold sat nite watching channel 8 and blogging slpin anithing . i skipped dinner too ful dun feel like eatin hmm... omg i realli loner lah haiz my msn list is almost empty as in nt much ppl online parents wen out for dinner zzz bored and sian sian ......

i dun noe i dun neo i dun noe i m veri confused stop forcing mi lah zzzz stupid dumb ppls lol hmmm...... guess i will never make a decision haha all the best lol leave mi out i dun wan to noe, lol i dun wan to see, i dun wan to care , er i dun wan (fulstop) lol jus blooging to let out some stress haha my frens all too busy to entertain mi zzz dis is call SELF - ENTERTAINMENT LOL
ok onli ppl like mi is so bo liao lol zzzz

omg yesterday the 10 pm channel 'u' show is veri nice lol is veri sad oso lah

dis girl she is veri lonly as her mother keep workin and workin but her mother will gib her alot of $$ so she found herself a 'bestfren' so she nt lonely anymore lol and she oso got a 'boyfren' yup . her bestfren boobs are at least a 'd' or 'c' as in is realli huge lah lol ok den the girl wanted to go for plastic surgury to enlarged it lol because her stupid so called 'boyfren' like girls wif super super huge boobs tipical lol so she wen to make from 'a' to 'd' successful

than one day so "luckily" she caught her 'boyfren' wif her 'best fren' on bed wad they doin i dun need to say lol ya that was like the end of her life of her the feeling being betrayed by both the ppl so close to her ya . and the first person tat came into her mind was her mum but she was too busy meetin . that was how the girl ended her life haiz ....... so sad because of the guy she wen to FAKE her boobs and kill herself because she couldnt take it but she veri poor thing haiz
THIS IS LIFE she is pretty lah haiz haiz so depressing

if is mi haha maybe same picture lol nt kill but torture lol ok haha k k bye

I GIVE UP I GIVE UP I TOTALLY GIVE UP EVERYTHING IN LIFE FUCK IT
SO STRESS SO ARGGGGGGG ... HELP MI

ROAR I M PISSED OFF

ROAR I M PISSED OFF

FUCK FISH FOOD FED UP FFF FLOWER....... FOOL lol
lame lol i m so full stomach veri pain hahaha so irritated in sch lol i m cuurrently in my sch library dieing lol zzzz

yesterday wen to watch gorsssssssss play bb haha as usual i wan goin crazy lol wa so man lol ok dotz hahah den see tp vs ite win by 1 points lol so power lah evelyn and gwen was dieing half way lol they were both so so so so so tired lol yeah ......

missed lecture in the morning lol purposly lol haha lazy to wake up lol sad sad my rabbit's gone :(
smile ppl lol everyday is a BRAND NEW DAY new things happen it will be good wa hahahah k k byes

i m feeling tired and down wa hahahah zzzzzzzzzzzz sian lor later goin hm lol den go RP wa hahaha go find gor gor lol he got bb match yeah today is rp vs sp lol jia you rp go go go lol

16 07 2008 wed

hmmm got sch at 1 lol so lazy to go sch lah zzz but still hav to go omg haha zzzz ...

am i realli so nt "trustworthy" zzzz hmmm guess i m nt nvm lah wad do i wan more
i realli dun like my life lah , i dun noe how to be a human a proper human . open my mouth oso piss ppl off close oso piss ppl off haiz dun u jus think dis kind of person realli veri hard to be ???24hrs 7 days oso sure got ppl scold mi one .. no one day i can hav a peaceful day ... all i do is think think how nt to piss ppl haha eff lah zzzz
i can jus effing off and die le lah haiz ... so sian so sux so omg . haiz mi my life jus sux so no life i live my life being led by the nose i dun hav my own decision n i never will haha zzz i hate oral presentation lah i wan run away from everything EVERYTHING crys crys i jus dun like dun like dun like dun like my life (FULSTOP) arg.... kill mi omg OMG WAD IS WRONG WIF MI all i wan is to live my life happy eveyday HAPPY OSO SO HARD .. i pass everyday wif a sad face is veri painful ..... i mean hu wan lol everyone oso got their own problems everyone oso wan to live life happy without worry haha nvm lah all dis is 'FATED' live each day count each day lol


LET NATURE TAKES IT COURSE LOL NT POINT FORCING THE LIFE TO GO DIS WAY WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH zzzzzzz

gordon lol muacks lol lame

too depress for any up date hahah :((

i m scares i m scare things will turn out bad :((((( scare scare i dun noe how i will take it sobs lol

hmm nt feelin veri good rite now haha lookin for ppl to go out wif mi on sunday lol cuz some ppl cannot make it zzz sian lor zzz

do u still care ??? i hang up the phone cuz i was pissed dun tel mi i dun sound pissed omg nvm go hav fun wa hahah

wad am i goin do wad m i goin do best friend lol zzzz i feel so dumb and used lah fuck .... i dun noe wad is wrong wif my life lah ... no one care no one bother lah zzzzz today is sat I GOT USED BY 3 PPL omg

tel mi hu is fuckin dumb MI JEAN HO haiz wad can i say ?? stupid ma so naive believe wad ppl ... i should realli find lots lots ok things to do lah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


jean jean jean cheer up u r nt alone lol u still got mi jean lol zzz ok i m losing it lol

120702008 sat

haha i m now in sch and i m super bored till i m playin maple and stoning lol zzz sux sux lol i wanna be a lucky girl argg.... see them i so jealous lah haiz .. i feel so down lah zzz omg nvm nvm nvm life life life i wan go TOILET bye :(((( ppl can never be satisfided wif wad they hav i guess :D i jus realized it with the ppl round mi all their complains and saying and wad ever lol ... they say it in front mi makes mi feel so down lah zzzz sometimes ppl say thing they dun noe how to see the surrounding lah zzzzzzzzzzzzz

11072008 friday

MAgic mirror effect lol we were jus takin pic outside the shop lah lol

haha dey r goin kill mi

OMG I WAN THE HEELS FROM CHARLES AND KEITH

MAGIC MIRROR (WAD AVINDER SAYS lol )back to sch zzzz

jus wanna post dis for fun lol so nice wa hahaha

arggg i feel so stress durin my project meetin ..i totally got pissed off by a 'human' fish dun appear in my life lah i dun welcome u so pissed lah cant the 'human' jus keep its insulting comments to itself... feak omg i veri arggg... haiz haiz maybe tat is wad life is bout ???

Y mus ppl be so realistic and materialistic dam it
i dun wan to be like my poly frens i wan to be jean myself and i like it tat way so too bad lol dotz
i wonder if my life can turn out to be like wad i wan since young to be successful in everything haha i realize i think alot alot alto ALOT I MEAN lol i think wen i slp , bath , eat , watch tv , play game , study , out wif any one lol lame rite i never let my mind rest :(( poor brain... lol

oh well it is mi wa hahaha
the onli ppl in my life tat is impt to mi : daddy , mummy , ron ron , gordon , jun , you ying , esther ,kelvin ,jia ying , sarah , grace , fec , sindy lol still hav hahaha haiz my super close frens is realli limited zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and will always be
turn too wen i m down and lonely but they seems so far away from mi . in sch i realli feel like a loner zzz pathetic mi lol yeah yeah nvm i hav to learn to be independent it is nt tat bad lol :D yeah .....

friends come and go but never will the true and worthy ones :D hahahahaahahha

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

i pressed my phone button

stare at the screen sian sian sian zzzz

;(

nt feelin veri good sobs :((((

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
so bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
and I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely so why
Why don't you let me love you???












N O ONE IS PERFECT everyone has their faws and pros lol

09072008 tue

I M DEPRESS OMG

Dreams are jus wat u think if dream realli do happen to u , u are a realli lucky person

D ... reams
R ...eality
E ... xciting
A ... mbitious
M ... aybe it will happen

haha yeah hmmm..... dreams dreams hmmm.... gordon u arh... haiz :(

I JUS WANNA STAY IN UR STRONG ARMS AND NEVER LEAVE the feelin is so nice and strong and security lol z z z z eng fail haha can it happen lol :S

ONE DAY I NOE IT WILL HEHEhehe time babe lol

omg zzzzzz gordon haha i noe ur pol-ite time table lol u die lol hahah dotz k k zzz i go slp liao lol thx

haha i jus wanna stay in ur strong arms and stay dere forever lol arrr.... the feelin is so nice lol dotz haha ...
it is not bout the problem or the solutions IT IS BOUT EMPATHY haha i dun noe wad it means lol z z z z...... is the feelin it gives lah lol

z z z z today wasnt realli good haha cuz gordon was almost near to dead hahah he was super tired lah lol drove to orchard walked around den wen home liao lol onli go out like 1hr 30 mins better den nth lol he was too tired lah lol nvm lol rest well ya lol cookin meggi mee and watchin spider man lol omg i so tired oso so sian tmr monday and my week end kinda sux z\zzzzzzzzzzz crrys crys lol ok ok ok pimples go away lol i m grounded for a week wa hahah dun care lol

jean wanna be a good girl lol

OMG PIMPLES WA HAHAH I WAN SLP EARLY EVERYDAY LE l

lol wen to watch 'hancock' wif gordon$ and his frens lol yeah veri nice and it was midnight haha miracle i can watch lol GORDON WAS DRIVING lol veri cute lor he drive until lol...... haha yeah

goin out wif him later lol any one wanna join lol :D

z z zz another day in my family is a stress day for mi omg i veri pissed every where i go i cannot hav peace one haiz if i can run away i would long long ago crys crys all they noe is nag nag nag nonm stop i realli feel like jus stuffin thier mouth wif fur so they can keep quiet :(

i m sick of everything , sick of sch , sick of work , sick of computer, sick of television, sick of anything haiz ... i m bored cannot find things to do tat will interest mi . no one is free to entertain mi oso haiz all i do is slp ,i oso slp until veri sian liao . :( haiz haiz i wanna SPICE up my life make it more entertaining and happening all i wan is to hav fun zzzz no wan wanna join mi sia lol sian sian i need lots and lots of energy zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sian sian sian hmmm..... I WAN TO GET A LIFE OMG

haha tmr sunday yeah yeah goin out wif gor gor :D happy happy heheh never see him for 1 week no fun :( z z z

women are a veri weird thing lol they will do all cunning ways to find out the truth and once they noe the truth they will nt forgive but thery will revenge haha ... and hurt themself in mani ways lol hey i m speakin thought wad ppl say ok lol i m nt a women lol

jean ho is my name and i m a lame person so i dun like talkin to myself zzzz something asses happen duing my POM tutorial yesterday ... and it made mi so irritated the teacher is a biased freak omg he sux sux sux i hate him to the core arggggggggg NVM jean is meant to be hated after all wa kakaka

so tired yesterday haha my body was so weak lol wen to meet ,mi primary sch clique at choms so fun lol ate prawn mee as usual heheh den we wen to you ying hse hahahahaha to watch the last espisode of the 9 oclock show hahaha '

oo and the 5 of us wen crazy over sarah's macbook wa hahaha we keep taking pics lol so fun lah so cool somemore lol wait until i get the pic i will post it lol yeah yeah and we talked alot of crap as usual lol until 1130 i think lol hahahahahhaah so fun WE MUS MEET UP SOON AGAIN K K K ZKZK KZ KZ LOL lazy to type more lol

lol sarah's bf in army , you ying bf is army lol all bo tak lol ...... haha GORDON I CANT WAIT TO SEE U BALD wa hahahaha zzz dotz hmmmmm..... so once i reached hm i sleep lol ...

today gordon passed his driving test YEAH HE CAN OFFICALLY DRIVE LE HAHA A dun need squeeze in buses and mrt liao lol ok maybe still need for the time being lol hehehheee
i wen poly clinic today to check my back bone lol wen for x-ray so cool lah lol i saw was was inside my body lol and my spinal cord is nt straight wa hahahah ok i m happi bout it lol i m sick lol zzzzzz erm yeah i wan go slp le good nite and it s 348 :)

WA WAWAWAWAAWAWAWAWAWWAWAWAWAWA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

03072008 thursday lol

haha was cam horing today lol jus waiting for dance cca omg i m startin to love dance alot wa hahahaha


my friendster sux